What I've Learned About Expectations
Updated: Jan 5, 2019
There’s something I’ve learned about expectations. They can either break you down or build you up. (This includes myself)
When I began life coaching in 2014 I believed ALL expectations were positive expectations. (The coaches I was surrounding myself with set clear expectations that I saw manifest into their desires, and propelled them into leadership roles within the company. At this time I only knew how setting positive expectations could benefit a person, but it wasn’t until I looked outside of my inner circle that I realized the impact of negative expectations…) The coaches I was around clearly communicated their expectations and were great at manifesting. Without desiring it, I watched those coaches become great leaders and communicators within the company.
It wasn’t until I saw people outside of the company set expectations that I saw the negative. I watched people set expectations around what they wanted to release. Many women in my area were doing 30 day weightloss challenges with minimal results. This is only one example, but on top of many others that surrounded my life it clearly defined the difference in mindsets. All of the people outside my inner circle were programmed to set expectations of “WHEN WILL IT HAPPEN?” Time was the difference between those who set positive expectations vs. those who set negative expectations.
Obviously the person who signed up for the 30 day weightloss challenge wanted to see results. I mean, that's what you sign up for! It’s positive to have aspirations but it’s toxic to put a time limit on a transformation goal you’ve set for yourself.
Our Mind/Ego have a lot to do with how we set expectations and goals. The mind wants a quick fix. The magical pill that will make everything better! I get it! I felt physical pain in Vegas last week, and I would have taken almost anything to make it go away.
Here is the kicker, there is no quick fix to transformation. Your mind has been programmed for years to think a certain way. Patterns of negative self-talk and judgement can’t be changed within a day. It will take time for habits/patterns to change. It will also take commitment, patience, and dedication to manifest what you want in life. And from my perception, it will also take a good coach or mentor to guide you through obstacles as you go through your transformational journey.
So what do I do for myself and with my clients? I turn to gratitude.
I take a moment to turn to faith/god/source energy and write in my journal. My gratitude journal is full of unexpected miracles that have brought joy into my life.
I ALWAYS affirm to myself that everything works out for me, and I’m at the right place at the right time. I spent months (and still spend time) saying these things to myself on a day-to-day basis.
It’s helped me with goal setting and creating positive, stress-free expectations.
I dare you to accept and be open to the unknown possibilities that can transform your life. Let go and be grateful. You’ll be amazed how the two affirmations above can program you for success, and help you release all those unnecessary expectations!
(PS if you’re an overachiever I’d love to hear what you’re grateful for. I find it incredibly inspiring. Email me from the home page.)